Preface: Today was much harder for others – impossible in fact. Praying for strength for the victims and families in Connecticut. I cant even imagine that kind of sorrow.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein
It wasnt a good day. My excitement for Mias rolling was met with: its not like shes developmentally advanced or anything. Sigh. No kidding. Okay, I realize shes not developmentally advanced. I realize that these are normal things that happen. Did she roll early? Yes. Will it happen again in the next 6 months? Who knows? Heres the thing. Shes physically capable of rolling. The hours of hard work have paid off. Shes not a limp child lying on the floor.
When you have a kid with a disability, the doctors, nurses, and therapists tell you a lot of good things that your child will be able to do (so you dont completely freak out, Im sure), but they also tell you the possible negatives cognitive delays, physical delays, leukemia, blood disorders, deafness, early onset dementia I could go on and on. So when your child does something very normal (and maybe a little ahead of schedule), you feel like throwing a party. Most parents throw little parties when their children achieve milestones in general even with chromosomally typical children. (Feel free to smile, its my favorite description.)
Its going to be a long, sad life if we arent allowed to celebrate normal. Do I constantly need to be reminded that shes different? Does she always have to be the other? Is that fair? Does she get to be human?
Its a struggle a fight between optimism and pessimism, between faith and despair.
Theres so much wrong with today. Its a cruel, dangerous world. Inspiration is in short supply.
I do not believe this darkness will endure. ― J.R.R. Tolkien