Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu
Over the past year, Ive asked myself a lot of questions. One of these very important questions was: How will this new baby affect Fynn? This question became even more important on November 5. Before Mia was born, Down syndrome was only a potential diagnosis. When she was here and Down syndrome was no longer an abstract concept but reality, I had to figure out how this would change all of our lives including Fynns.
Early in the fall, I listened to an author discuss the challenges of being the sibling of a child with a disorder like Down syndrome or Autism. She discussed resenting the continuous appointments for her younger brother, expectations of perfection placed on her, feeling ignored, and general family hardships that go along with having a child with a disability. It was difficult to hear. What was I doing to Fynn?
Then I realized that I needed to hear that. I needed to be aware of how he might be feeling. It was important for me to listen and be prepared to be sensitive to Fynn and his life, not just Mias.
Every day, I look for ways to have special Fynn/Mommy time. Today when Mia was taking an afternoon nap, I gathered Fynn up and we spent time playing games, coloring, reading, and just being together – just me and my buddy. Snuggles, laughter, high fives, and love pure bliss on a Monday afternoon.
Today was easy, but the reality is that every day won’t be as easy. But we were never promised an easy life. We’re all going to have to adjust, be flexible, and go with the flow. I havent always been good at letting reality be reality and going with the flow of life. Our entire family will be getting a lot of practice doing that very thing.
And when I start to worry and lose my nerve (which I usually do) –
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33